A Slightly Unusual Friday
by LuticolousMantis
Summary: Phineas and Ferb decide to build the coolest zoo ever, and Jeremy takes an interest in busting. Meanwhile, a malfunctioning inator causes Perry and Doofenshmirtz to switch bodies.


"It's a bit of a shame, isn't it, Ferb? How animals in zoos so often have to live in small cages? How can you enjoy looking at all these exotic animals when they are like prisoners?", Phineas asked, leaning on the tree. He loved these morning moments, trying to figure out how to spend the day. Of course, doing the projects was fun too, but the beginning of the day held the kind of promise and potential that had no limits.

Ferb nodded.

"That's it, Ferb! I know what we're going to do today! We'll turn this city into the greatest zoo ever that's as fun for the animals as the human customers! Perry's going to love it too! Hey where is Perry?"

"There he is." The green –haired boy pointed at their pet that was enjoying the summer, napping under the tree.

"Huh, so he is. Cool, he can be our semi-aquatic environment supervisor."

"Hey Phineas, whatcha doin'?"

The red-haired boy greeted Isabella with a smile. "We are going to make the best zoo ever."

"Cool, I can go for my scorpion-wrangling patch."

"Okay, so you can be in charge of our invertebrate exhibit and the reptile-house. Ferb can take care of the catering and I can take care of the arctic species and train the penguins."

"Sounds great."

Ferb signaled agreement with a thumbs-up.

"Okay, where's Perry _now?_"

Said platypus could be found in the laundry room, jumping into the washing-machine after setting it to 'hideout'.

The shaking and soap made the agent remember why he didn't usually use this entrance. But he was following the Major's orders.

A minute later, quite a bit cleaner platypus was dropped into his lair. Alongside a bunch of socks. So that's where they went. He'd have to remember to return them to the house.

"Good morning, Agent P." His superior greeted him with an approving nod. "Good to see you're using some more neglected entrances. The financial department keeps telling us 'Why would you need more secret entrances, when your agents have some they never use?'. Well, this will show those hyenas! Literally. Agent H recently transferred there, and she keeps giving me hard time for our financial planning. Anyway, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was seen shopping today. It appears he bought toothpaste, five apples, a carton of eggs, some flour, toilet-paper, lactose-free milk, toast and some scratch off lottery-tickets."

An awkward silence fell.

The Major shrugged. "Okay, not _suspicious, _as such, but you know as well as I do that he is up to _something. _Good luck."

* * *

"Just look at them, plotting. With _penguins. _This can't be good."

Phineas turned to wave at his sister who was hiding behind the trashcan. She waved back and continued her monologue.

"And I just know that the vicious cycle of coolness-annoyance- bust-failure will continue…"

"Hey, Candace, ready to go on our date?"

The girl turned to her boyfriend with a pleased smile that nevertheless looked just a slighted bit strained. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?" Jeremy nodded in the direction of his girlfriend's brothers who were currently constructing a giant waterslide.

Candace's eye twitched, but her voice was reserved. "What's the use? I'll just fail, like I always do."

"Candace, what if I helped you?"

"You what!?"

Jeremy gave her what he wished was an encouraging smile. "You always try so hard, but never succeed, but if I helped, that would double your chances, right?"

"Really? You would do that for me!?"

"Well, yes-"

"Wait here!"

Before Jeremy could react she was back with the enthusiasm he liked seeing so much.

"You need to be properly prepared! A hard-hat, binoculars, a microscope, a walkie-talkie, a canary (just in case you have to go into a coal-mine), mom's number, two cameras and a stethoscope disguised as a necklace-"

* * *

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_

* * *

"Behold, my Switchinator!"

The agent did so, from his spot in the trap that was today an odd-smelling apple-pie.

Doctor Doofenshmirtz continued, "You see, Perry the Platypus, earlier today I bought a few lottery tickets when I was shopping for the ingredients for my lunch, which I burned, as you can see. Makes for a good trap, though. Anyway, I didn't _win,_ of course, but if I only had managed to pick the winning ticket, I could have won as much as 10 000 dollars. So, I built this," he gestured towards the inator, "With _this_ I can shoot any object and it will switch places with a similar object, so I can take this ticket with no prize and switch it with a new one. I only need to find 40 winning tickets for this baby to pay itself!"

* * *

"A trained poodle, a biker-helmet, a hazmat suit, some mothballs, a list of emergency numbers in 45 countries-" Candace stopped. "Huh, this is weird."

"What?"

"I had some lottery tickets incase you'd need to bribe a gamble fish, but it seems someone has already scratched them. Oh well, leaves more room for an inkwell, a ruler, a screwdriver (non-sonic), an-"

* * *

"Look , Perry the Platypus! I won! 5 dollars! Only 395 000 dollars to go before I break even. Huh, this is a lot of work. I should have built a Scratchinator. Norm! Get in here and help me with thi-"

Doofenshmirtz was interrupted by a webbed foot hitting him in the stomach.

"You got out of my trap? How!?"

Perry pointed at the pie. It was clear he had just stepped out of it.

"Hm, I suppose it wasn't as _hardened _by the burning as I thought. I should have baked it with cement or something. Well, live and learn."

Doof turned the inator towards Perry. "Hah! Let's see how you like being replaced with a, I don't know, another nearby animal agent."

The ray missed the agent, hitting the couch instead.

A pile of rubbish appeared in its place.

"Well, that's a bit rude. I mean, it was a completely _serviceable_ couch, although the middle seat had this weird smell. Anyway, stay still. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure if hitting you would actually _solve _anything, if I just got beaten up by some other agent- Hey!"

He was pushed away from the machine and went tumbling down.

Deciding to take care of this quickly, so he might participate in the boys' activities today, Perry went for the inator.

"No, Perry the Platypus, you shouldn't-"

Ignoring the doctor, the agent spun and hit the machine with his tail as hard as he could, sending it flying against a wall.

This turned out to be a bad idea. The inator exploded releasing a green flash of light and a puff of white smoke.

A feeling of extreme disorientation washed over Perry.

Had he lost consciousness? He was still standing, so it couldn't have been that long he had been out. His training kicked in, and he tensed up. His visibility was still bad, as the room was filled with the white smoke, but he didn't seem to be injured. However, he wasn't feeling particularly normal. Mostly, somehow, there seemed to be more of him, and he had lost his hat somewhere…

Reflexively, he lifted his hand to feel for it, but stopped when he saw a human hand. Shocked, he froze. The hand stopped, obeying his commands.

_I'm human?_

"That was… unexpected."

Perry turned towards the doctor's voice.

And stopped in shock at the sight of a small teal fedora-wearing platypus.

A quick check on his own body confirmed the horrible fear.

_I'm Doofenshmirtz!?_

"How did this happen? Do you _see_, Perry the Platypus, why you should listen to me more often? See what you did, the inator is broken, and we are stuck in the clichéd body-switcharoo-plot and since the author is so bad at actually finishing his stories we will be stuck like this _forever-"_

Perry ignored the fourth-wall-breaking ramblings, devoting his full attention to the machine. That lay on the ground, broken. He wasn't an expert on engineering, but the damage looked bad, at least the hull was split and there was smoke (now black) coming from it.

He pointed at it, trying to get the Doctor's attention.

"Everything looks _huge_! This is how small you are! Must be difficult, using machinery and whatnot, although you do seem to manage well-"

Perry chattered, trying to get his attention.

The now-platypus scientist stopped, turning to Perry, who couldn't help but to find seeing such a surprised look on his own face disconcerting. Especially when he was looking at his own face from the vantage point of five feet above it.

It got even worse when Doofenshmirtz broke into laugh, somehow managing to twist his bill into an expression Perry was pretty certain it wasn't meant for.

"Sorry, Perry-the-platypus-who-is-currently-in-my-human-bo dy-but-is-still-a-platypus-in-spirit. That just looked so odd, seeing myself make the Perry-the Platypus-noise! How come I still sound like me anyway? I mean, that makes no sense, I should sound like you, since I'm in your body, and using your vocal chords, and throat, and-"

He stopped, a horrified expression spreading on his face, making Perry cringe again inwardly.

"Do you know what this means?"

Without waiting for the reply, he went on:

"This is like using your toothbrush, only _worse!_"

Perry had got quite enough of it, and lunged at him, picking up the human-in-platypus-body, surprised at how light he was, and lifted the startled scientist on his eye-level.

The brown eyes widened in surprise.

"What? I-"

The doctor stopped at the sight of himself frowning.

Doofenshmirtz wondered if he ever managed to look that threatening. He made a note of trying to copy the steel-eyed look in front of the mirror once he was in his own body again.

"Hey, don't hurt yourself! Or me, for that matter. Or me in your body- you know what I mean!"

Despite saying this, he tried kicking at Perry, but found his new legs far too short for it.

Perry ignored that and put Doof down in front of the machine.

"What? Ah, yes, the machine. Did I already berate you for breaking it? Because I'd like to remind this is your fault, _I _wasn't planning on getting stuck inside of you today, you know. What?"

Perry rolled his eyes. But Dr.D caught on.

"I'll need to fix it to reverse this thing, you know. Trust me, I don't find this any more appealing than you do."

He turned his back on the agent, getting to work.

Perry stood there for a moment, then reached down and lifted the fedora from Doof's head. The evil doctor in question lifted his eyebrow, giving an odd look to Perry who put the hat on his head.

But Perry didn't care. At least wearing the hat made him feel _little _bit like himself.

* * *

"-And a stamp-collection. Great, you're good to go."

"Awesome," came the muffled reply under the pile of junk.

"This time it will work! Hehehehe hehehehe hehe."

"Candace?"

"Yes?"

"Do I have to do the laugh?"

"It's recommended but not necessary. Let's go!"


End file.
